Disclaimer: FF8, it's settings and original characters belong to Square Enix (or whatever it is these days).  Ander, the Kinneas brats (er, Angels), and Isan all belong to Suk.  She gets to feed them and has to deal with them... I'm like the cool Aunt that lets them have dessert before dinner and then gives them back during tantrums and diaper changes :D

And this is mostly based off of ‘To the Winner #1', if you couldn't tell :P


Kicking aside assorted party favors and a conical birthday hat, Seifer growled to no one in particular, "That's fucking it.  The kid doesn't get a party next year.  Birthday or not, this is ridiculous."

Squall, numb after hours of dealing with inexhaustible small children, said nothing.  He barely blinked as Seifer collapsed on the couch next to him.

"Now Seifer," Selphie's bright green eyes glittered with amusement.  "You said that last year, and the year before.  You know you love this."

Seifer huffed.  "Yes, Selphie, I just adore getting puked on by some moronic five year old who doesn't understand the concept of ‘eat to live, not live to eat'."

Selphie grinned at the memory.  "Can you really blame Alexis?  It was his favorite cake after all.  It wasn't entirely his fault.  It's not like his parents allow him to have junk food."

"Yeah, I fucking see why."  Seifer glared at nothing in particular, and then sighed as he leaned against Squall, who seemed as if he couldn't care less at the moment.

The day had been long and tiresome for everyone whose age happened to consist of double digits - excluding Zell and Selphie, naturally.  Laguna had been unable to attend this party, but planned on taking Squall and his small family out on the town on Isan's actual birth date.

Rinoa had stuck around after the children had gone, but was kicked out by Squall after numerous offers to help pick up the almost unbelievable mess.  Quistis hadn't been able to make it as she had to deal with some mundane Garden issue that had unexpectedly come up.  Irvine had gone home to put his boys to bed, leaving Selphie to catch up with Seifer and Squall.

Isan had dropped off to sleep immediately after lying down, leaving the three adults to relax after hours of hard work.

They each sat with their own thoughts for a brief time before Seifer happened to notice a large grin settling over Selphie's face. Familiar with her odd moods, he wearily asked, "now what?"

"Oh, nothing."  Selphie hummed.  "Well, actually...I was just thinking."

"Hope you didn't hurt anything."

"Shut up, Seifer.  I was just thinking that they grow up so fast, you know?  It seems like just a few months ago I was changing Tristen's diapers, and look at him now, in school.  Just the other day, Mason said his first word.  ‘Mommy'.  Isn't that cute?  Tristen and Dirk's was ‘daddy', so we only figured it was my turn."

Seifer smirked.  "Funny.   ‘Mommy' was Isan's first word."

Selphie beamed.  "A-aw, that's adorable! What did Squall do?"

Seifer's smirk turned into an outright grin.  "We actually have it on tape.  Care to see it?"

Without warning, Squall's hand was at Seifer's throat in a tighter than necessary hold, murder clear in his gray eyes. 

Seifer's initially shocked expression turned into that of amusement as unspoken words passed between them.  He reached up and pulled Squall's arm from his throat.  "Relax, Shiva." 

Squall's glare intensified, but he left Seifer alive.  "Whatever.  I'm tired.  I have a meeting in the morning.  Goodnight." 

After wishing Squall the same, Selphie turned to Seifer with a confused look on her face.  "I don't have to watch it, if there's something wrong with it..." 

Seifer waved her away.  "No, I know you love this stuff.  I'll go grab it." 

He left her then and disappeared into his shared bedroom.  Selphie heard his voice, though she couldn't make out the words, followed by Squall's softer reply.  They had a brief conversation, which was ended by a deep chuckle from Seifer.  A few moments later, he emerged from their room with a tape in hand. 

He flicked the power on the television and popped the tape into the VCR.  Before playing it, he said to Selphie, "hey, kid, Squall will have my ass if I wake him up later.  Thanks for hanging out; I'm sure we'll see you next weekend.  Just make sure to shut everything off after watching the tape, alright?"

Selphie smiled winningly.  "Sure, scout's honor!"

Seifer shook his head.  "Right.  ‘Night, Selph." 

"G'night Seifer.  See you later." 

Seifer nodded at her, pushed play, and then went back to his room, shutting the door behind him. 

The camera was focused on Seifer, clad in a robe, sitting on the side of a bed. 

"Hey Squall, why don't you bring him here?"

At that, Squall came into the picture, carrying his wailing infant son. 

"I think he had a bad dream." 

Seifer looked at his child.  "You really think they dream so young?"

Selphie scoffed at this.  Of course the little Angels dreamt so young. 

Squall merely shrugged and sat next to Seifer, both ignoring the camera. 

Seifer ran his finger over his son's cheek.  "Hey, now, what's this fuss about, Cub?" He smiled as the child quieted and tried to grab his finger.  "If you ask me, I'd say you're trying to steal your mommy away from me." 

Selphie laughed at the look Squall sent in Seifer's direction before leaning down to kiss their son. 

"... mommy..." 

Selphie felt a smile spread wide across her face.  How adorable was that?  And on tape... well, that was it.  As soon as she could convince Irvine, she simply had to have another little Angel. 

"...say it again for me," Seifer was saying.  "Mo–mmy." 

Isan squealed happily.  "...mommy!"

Selphie watched the rest of the video with a large, involuntary grin, thinking to herself as the tape ended in black that it was probably the most precious thing she had ever seen.  Though she had said good-bye to her own boys not two hours previous, she had a strong urge to see them again. 

She stood, stretched her petite frame, and yawned.  It was late; Irvine would be wondering what was keeping her.  She tiptoed her way through the mess and hastily scrawled a thank-you note on the message pad next to the door before leaving. 

She got halfway to the Garden's parking lot before realizing that she forgotten her purse in the suite.  Normally she wouldn't have gone back and risked waking up the exhausted pair, but her car keys were in the purse, and she'd be damned if she was going to walk the few miles home in the pouring rain, for Hyne's sake.  Besides, wasn't she a SeeD, trained in the art of stealth?  She turned and made her way back to the apartment, slowly twisted the knob, and entered the room as carefully and silently as she had left it.  Her green eyes were quick to adjust to the darkened room, and she quickly made her way to the counter where she had dropped the purse at the beginning of the party. 

She sighed quietly in relief, but then jumped in shock as a loud click filled the air.  She spun around in the direction of the noise, and then laughed breathily in relief as she realized it was just the television.  Silently she scolded herself.  Here she had promised Seifer she would turn it off, and then had completely forgotten about it in her rush to leave. 

She tiptoed across the floor to the television, intending to turn it off before she left.  However, just as she neared it, there was another short buzzing noise, and then static flashed on the screen.  Of course, the VCR must have an automatic rewinder.  Selphie shook her head, a small smile on her face, and reached for the power button. 

Just then, the static gave way to a clearer, yet still blurry picture, and Selphie's eyes widened in surprise as Seifer's face came into view on the screen, an almost too wide grin on his face as he winked.  Selphie's brows crinkled.  ‘I never saw this part...'

"You cheated."  The serious voice was accusatory. 

‘Squall?' Selphie's eyes flickered to the televisions buttons, finding volume.  She turned it down low enough so that she could just barely hear it, her interest piqued. 

"How could I have helped the kid cross the room?  It's not like I could've had him rigged up on wires.  Or maybe you think I've been slipping steroids into his milk." 

"You've been training him behind my back." 

"Squall, when a child less than one year in age sees something shiny and potentially dangerous if swallowed, he'll run for it.  I don't care if he just learned how to walk a short while ago.  And would you step into view for me so I can double check the zoom setting?"

Selphie smiled, amused, as Squall's typical stern look was directed at the camera. 

"I hate you." 

"No, you hate the fact that our son is six point two seconds faster than you thought."  The picture suddenly became crystal clear, and Selphie relaxed her eyes, no longer needing to squint.  Those same eyes shot wide open as Seifer sat behind Squall on the bed and wrapped his arms around the brunette's waist. 

She glanced at the two men's bedroom door incredulously.  ‘No way.  It couldn't possibly...'

"If you really are against it, we don't have to do it."  Seifer's voice clearly suggests that stopping is the last thing he wants to do, but will if necessary. 

Selphie leaned closer.  ‘Squall wouldn't...'

Squall's eyes looked straight at the camera, and Selphie felt slightly uncomfortable – as if the brunette were staring straight at her.  Squall was frowning slightly.  "Why do you want something like this?"

‘It's not...'

"Truthfully, I doubt I'll even watch it... much."  Selphie giggled at that, then pressed a hand against her mouth tightly and glanced quickly towards the bedroom.  The last thing she needed was to get caught in this situation. 

"... our most private of moments," Seifer was saying. 

‘Sweet Hyne, they *are*!' A wide grin broke across Selphie's face, and it was all she could do not to squeal with happiness. 

Squall didn't seem entirely convinced.  "Someone could find it." 

Seifer hummed as he hiked up Squall's robe and rubbed his thighs.  With a blush, Selphie averted her gaze.  "It's another part of the rush.  Unless you're afraid of others knowing about us." 

"I hate you so much," Squalls image stated, and Selphie quickly raised her hand and jabbed repeatedly at the ‘stop' button on the VCR.  There was a whirring noise as the VCR spat out the tape, and then dead silence. 

Selphie sat there on the floor for a short while, mind clicking like mad.  ‘A tape, Squall and Seifer made a tape... a sex tape... Squall and Seifer made a sex tape!'  Thinking about it, a grin grew progressively wider across her face.  Squall's reaction earlier, obviously he didn't want this to be known, and it was even more obvious why.  Selphie could only imagine how absolutely pissed he would be if the tape were to, say, suddenly go ‘missing'.  Then she touched on the thought of what would happen to Seifer if such a thing were to happen.  The grin became a full-blown smile. 

The opportunity was simply too much to pass up.  Selphie poked the television's power button, turning it off, and then pulled the tape from the VCR.  She rose, and, with one last look towards the bedroom, gathered her purse and hurried quietly out of the room.


Seifer woke up that morning at a time that, after checking the alarm clock, was simply too damn early.  His fucking foot hurt again, probably thanks in large part to all the running around he had been required to do to keep up with hyper active children.  While not a serious concern, it was getting annoying.  Whatever.  He'd just bring it up during his next visit with Dr.  Takamura. 

He groaned and rolled over, groping around in the bed, and then growled sleepily as he realized his favorite pillow was already up and gone.  And, as an added bonus, he had graciously opened the window blinds just so that the early, bright-ass morning sun tossed its blinding rays straight onto the bed. 

...fuck. 

The large blond rolled over to the edge of his bed, swung his legs over the side, and simply laid there, one arm thrown over his face to block out the offending light.  Squall had mentioned that he had some sort of a meeting today.  What it concerned, Seifer had no idea.  What mattered to him was that it meant Squall probably didn't have time to clean up the mess from yesterday, and the obsessive-compulsive lion would probably lop off Seifer's dick if the place weren't spotless by the time he came home. 

Seifer liked his penis, thank you very much.  Thus, he decided he might as well get up and start cleaning.  Sore muscles groaned in protest as he stood, and were only slightly appeased by his brief stretching exercises.  Whatever.  He'd spend a half hour, tops, cleaning the place up, and then it would be back to bed for him. 

That thought completely left his mind as he exited his bedroom and got a good look at the suite for the first time in a proper light.  He groaned at the sight of garbage, toys, and potentially sticky and damn near impossible to remove crap strewn all over the carpet, counter tops, tile, and virtually every other available surface.  He briefly considered kicking Isan out of bed to deal with it.  After all, it was his party, and thus his responsibility to clean. 

However, he highly doubted Squall would be amused by that.  What the hell.  He decided to bribe the kid, the boy thankfully sharing his mother's love for chocolate.  If the two of them worked together, it would take just over an hour to clean the place, and then they could go get a well-deserved hot fudge sundae. 

Glad to have that resolved, Seifer stumbled into the kitchen and brightened at the sight of a completely full coffee pot.  He poured himself a mug of the black liquid, sighing in bliss as he inhaled the essence of Heaven itself. 

He downed the first cup quickly, and poured himself a second.  He took smaller sips of that glass, savoring it, as he shuffled into the living room and collapsed onto the couch.  He reached for the remote, and then sighed in annoyance as he saw the home video case lying next to it.  Shit, he hoped Squall hadn't seen that, or he'd be seriously fucked later. 

Regretfully, he set the mug onto the coffee table (no coaster, he had to rebel somehow), and got up to eject the tape from the VCR.  To his confusion, nothing happened when he pressed the button.  He frowned, and checked the power on the machine - working fine.  He bent over and pushed back the flap, mouth suddenly going quite dry as he saw that there was quite obviously no tape. 

‘Fuck, okay, no reason to panic.  I'm sure it's here somewhere.'  A quick look over informed him that the tape was definitely not anywhere nearby, not unless it managed to get itself buried under a load of streamers somewhere. 

‘Okay, no big deal.  Squall's probably just hiding it from me.  He found it and he's pissed, thus he's torturing me.'  However, that simply wasn't Squall's style, and Seifer knew it. 

A feeling of panic set in, bordering on hysteria, as Seifer sank back down onto the couch.  Unintelligible curses ran through his head, punctuated by the thought of what Squall would do to him if he found out the tape was missing.  He considered his options, and found there weren't many.  He highly doubted Isan would have taken the tape, as he had been instructed to go nowhere near anything expensive and potentially destructible unsupervised until he was at least nine.  And of course he couldn't just wake the kid up and ask him.  Isan was a great son, and damn smart, but it would take just one minor slip up of him mentioning something about ‘daddy was looking for something' that would immediately arouse Squall's suspicion. 

Seifer breathed deeply.  Okay.  This wasn't that bad.  Squall had never before expressed an interest of watching the tape, and Seifer doubted he would start now.  Maybe if he just put the case back, it would fool Squall. 

But of course, that would be a temporary solution.  Either way, Seifer was a dead man.  He groaned and leaned forward, holding his head in his hands.  Dead, dead, dead.  So fucking dead. 

The phone, that jolly deliverer of pointless news, picked that moment to ring.  Seifer, glad for the distraction, grabbed the receiver and clicked the ‘talk' button. 

"What?"

"Come on, Seify, is that anyway to answer a phone?"

Hyne, only three voices were capable of such cheer at this point in the morning, and as Laguna and Zell were men... "Selph?  Whad'you want?"

"Ah ah, Seifer, manners are a must."  He groaned.  He could practically *feel* her chipper smile through the phone line. 

Gritting his teeth, he tried again.  "Fine.  Good morning, Selphie.  What can I do for you?"

Selphie tittered.  "Seifer, you're so cute.  Actually, I have several things you can do for me.  My kitchen, for instance, needs to be painted.  My sink is blocked up and the plumber isn't available until next week, and Hyne knows that you're handy enough to do the job.  And... let's see."  He stared in disbelief at the wall as she continued her list.  "You can baby sit my lovely children, I'll need you to run to the store for me, and I need a light installed in the hallway closet." 

Seifer blinked.  "Is that all?"

"Well, for now." 

The large man groaned.  "Look, Selph, you're cute and all, but I'm busy.  Get Irvine to help you." 

An amused hum sounded over the line.  "Right.  Busy?  Could you be... looking for something, perhaps?"

"Yes, actually, I..."  Seifer's voice trailed off into silence as it hit him what the cheerful tone was implying.  He didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw a tantrum.  "You bitch," he said, in a wonder-filled voice.  "You absolute bitch." 

Selphie clucked her tongue at him.  "Now, Seify, that's not very nice, is it? 

Seifer collapsed against the kitchen counters, incredulous.  "You stole my tape?"

"‘Stealing' is such a strong word, Seifer.  So, how about it?  I think yellow would work good with the curtains in my kitchen, don't you?"

Seifer blinked.  "Are you joking?"

Selphie hummed her amusement.  "Seifer, would I joke with you?  It's nothing too difficult.  You do a few simple chores and you get your video back.  Sounds fair to me." 

Seifer felt anger burning up inside of him.  "Go to Hell, Selphie.  Do you realize I could have you arrested for this?  Stealing is a crime.  That tape is my property, and I want you to give it back to me." 

"Mmhmm... isn't it also Squall's property?  I'm sure he would love to know you left such incriminating evidence of your relationship just lying around like that.  But, if you insist, I could give it to Irvine, who could hand it to Zell, who is supposed to speak with Squall today anyway.  It wouldn't be a problem." 

Seifer's mouth was now seriously dry.  "Selphie, you are a bitch." 

"Ah hah, but a bitch with the upper hand."  She laughed at that. 

Seifer rubbed the bridge of his nose.  "Alright, whatever.  Did you watch the tape?"  He wasn't embarrassed at the thought, but the feeling of being violated was present. 

Selphie simply tittered, ignoring his question.  "So, what time can I expect you?  The sink won't be fixing itself." 

Seifer felt like throwing the phone against the wall.  However, he didn't feel like explaining a broken receiver to Squall on top of everything else.  Not able to hold back the growl, nor really wanting to, he managed to snap out something along the lines of ‘I'll be there in a half hour'. 

Her goodbye was overly sweet, and Seifer was left staring at a phone long after the dialing tone clicked back on, debating if it would really be worth it to snap the piece of machinery in half or not. 

Finally, he sighed in frustration and punched in a different number. 

"Hello?"

"Torres.  You.  Here.  Now." 

He didn't bother to listen to the younger man's confused affirmation before pounding the ‘end' button on the phone. 

The knock came quicker than expected; the soldier must really have hauled ass.  Seifer threw open the door and glared up at him. 

"What the fuck took you so long?"

"Sorry, Commander.  It's... I... um... hm." 

The look of fear on his face helped to put the large blonde in a slightly better mood.  Unfortunately the look disappeared as Isan decided to put in an appearance. 

He squeezed past Seifer and latched onto the younger man. 

"Ander!"

"Hey, cub."  He bent down and hoisted Isan up onto his hip, in a position comfortable enough to carry him inside.  Seifer, resisting a pointless glare, let him into the apartment, not bothering to comment on the fact that his son hadn't greeted him first. 

Today was just not his fucking day. 


Selphie smiled brightly at Seifer as she stepped aside and ushered him into her modest home.  He resisted the urge to punch her, which proved to be difficult.  Training at the Garden had never consisted of giving the boys a guilty conscience about hitting girls, especially bright, sunny, incredibly annoying SeeD girls such as Selphie. 

She fisted a hand on her hip and stared up at him.  "Well, Seify, how kind of you to stop by!  I figured you would start with the kitchen first.  It shouldn't take more than an hour to do the first layer, and then you can fix the bathroom sink while the paint dries." 

Seifer crossed his arms and glared down at her.  "Where's the fucking tape?"

There was a gasp from behind him.  A wide eyed brunette, almost a carbon copy of his father, gaped up at the blonde from where he was standing next to his younger brother.  "Mommy! Uncle Seifer said a bad word!"

Selphie smiled sweetly at her eldest.  "Mommy knows, Angel, and Uncle Seifer's going to pay for it.  Why don't you two go outside and play?"

Dirk and Tristen ran by her with two dutiful murmurs of agreement. 

Seifer watched them go, then closed his eyes tightly to clear his head before turning back to their grinning mother.  "Selph, I'm serious.  I want to see the tape." 

"What, and have you run off with it?  Sorry Seify.  The kitchen calls.  And," she led him by the elbow towards the kitchen.  "For teaching my impressionable children a new word that even Irvine has refrained from using, you get to fix the microwave as well." 

The smell of paint was strong in the house, even with all of the doors and windows open.  Seifer had a major headache, and it wasn't simply from the fumes.  He had installed the lights with no problem, and had even managed to fix the sink with a minimum of cussing, but this fucking microwave had him stumped.  It was some kind of Estharian model, and as he stared at the mechanical insides of the appliance, he felt a certain feeling of defeat and hopelessness.  Of course, the moment wasn't exactly improved by his current company. 

"Now what'cha doin'?" Selphie's eldest stared at Seifer, his wide eyes filled with curiosity. 

"Trying to fix this piece of shhh...metal."  Seifer ground out. 

"Why?" Dirk asked, firmly planted at the side of Seifer, who was his newest hero. 

"Because it's broken." 

"Why?"

"Because," the blond replied with diminishing patience, "your mother is a horrid woman who seems to have extreme difficulty purchasing a normal, functioning microwave." 

"Ah, and what was that about my wife?" And here was the eldest Kinneas boy, who happened to catch the comment as he was walking past the room with his youngest. 

"Nothing.  Your wife is a lovely rose of a behemoth."  Seifer glared peevishly at a wire and poked at it for lack of anything better to do. 

"Yes, well, this behemoth was going to offer you some lemonade, but now I may change my mind."  Selphie herself grinned brightly at Seifer and handed him a tall glass filled with the light yellow liquid, despite her threat.  Her boys, including Irvine, all gathered around for a glass of their own.  Selphie obliged them all before filling her own mug to the rim.  "So, how goes it with the microwave?"

Before the blond could reply, Tristen spoke up gaily.  "Uncle Seifer says it's a ‘Hyne-damned nuisance', but he'll figure it out, won't you?" He looked hopefully up at his ‘hero', who had been required to do the boys' chores that day. 

Seifer winced as Selphie's disapproving frown hit him, but didn't miss Irvine's amused glance at the eldest child.  Overly sweetly, Selphie made a suggestion.  "Seifer, it's such a nice day.  After you figure out that ‘Hyne-damned nuisance', why don't you take my angels to the park?  You know they love the swings." 

Seifer gritted his teeth and forced some semblance of a smile.  He knew very well how much the boys loved the swings - knew very well that a trip to the park meant he would be pushing the hyperactive children for hours. 

Either fortunately or unfortunately, Seifer couldn't tell which, Dirk latched on to his leg with a shout of joy.  Surprised, Seifer lost his balance.  Before he could stop himself, he fell forwards.  The glass of lemonade went flying as he fell, and the liquid doused the microwave's exposed wiring, as fate would have it. 

The six of them froze momentarily; the ensuing silence was finally broken by an amused snort from Irvine, followed by immensely hearty laughter.  Seifer wilted under Selphie's look, resisting the childish urge to point the finger of blame at her child.  Momentarily, a smile spread across her face, and Seifer groaned. 


"Daddy!"

Seifer grunted as his son jumped into his arms, but didn't bother to protest.  At least it was his son.  Over the past two days he had developed a vague dislike of other people's children, thank you very much. 

"Daddy, guess what?"

"Nn, what?"

The small brunette pouted up at his father.  "You have to guess." 

"I'm not in the mood to guess, and quit pouting.  What's up, kiddo?"

Isan huffed, but managed a winning smile.  "Mommy has something to show you!"

Seifer froze and stared down at his son.  No way did Squall know.  No fucking way.  "...Did he say what?"

"No, he just said that when you got home, he was going to show you." 

"Yes, but show me what?"  Seifer was not in the mood for guessing games. 

"Noo, dad.  He said this: ‘When your father gets home, I'll show him'." 

Seifer Almasy was not afraid of many things.  Some would say he was fearless.  However, the mother of his only child still had the capability to scare the piss out of him on occasion.  This was certainly one of those occasions. 

"Okay, kiddo.  That's enough."  He set the young boy back on his feet. 

"Where's mommy now?"  Brownies.  If Squall was out, Seifer could make brownies.  Squall was a sucker for the chocolate treat.  Maybe if he could whip up a batch before the smaller man got back, then...

"Right behind you.  Move."  Squall's voice was expressionless. 

Well, so much for that theory.  Seifer stepped off to the side and allowed the brunette to pass.  Squall didn't even bother to look at him as he placed a couple bags of groceries on the counter and started to put the items away. 

"Um, Squall?"

"...  ..." 

"Squall, come on.  It wasn't my fault or anything, you know that." 

Squall stopped what he as doing and stared up at Seifer.  "What wasn't your fault, exactly?"

A rustling sound and then light footsteps caused Seifer to notice, for the first time, that they still had company. 

Ander smirked at the blonde commander, clearly amused.  "Well then, I'll just leave you two to it.  You can pay me tomorrow, Commander.  Don't forget my bonus." 

Seifer glared after the tall man as Isan waved exuberantly.  Torres was so fired.  So fired.  Forget bonus.  A gunblade up the ass would be far too good for that man. 

"Seifer, why are we giving Ander a bonus?"

Seifer put his son down and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  "Well, it's a funny story... see, what happened was that..." 

"Seifer?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Sit down.  Isan, go to your room." 

"But mooom..."  the young boy whined, but Squall was used to dealing with pouting Almasys. 

"Isan."  The voice was firm and low, the threat behind it hidden but there.  The boy sighed, then turned and went to his room. 

Squall turned to Seifer, who, unlike his son, knew when it was a good time to follow orders from the fearless headmaster, and leaned against the counter.  The two stared at each other for some time, Seifer wary, whereas Squall wore his typical blasé expression. 

Squall was the first to break the silence.  He hung his head, his hair falling over his face, and then his body began to shake.  It looked as if he were sobbing, but when he raised his head, Seifer saw that he was laughing.  It was quiet, it was breathy, but it was a laugh.  It was Squall's laugh. 

Seifer, quite taken aback, had no idea what the fuck was going on.  "Yo, Squall.  What the fuck?"

Squall raised his head and looked at Seifer, which only make his body shake harder. 

"Squall, this isn't fucking funny." 

Slowly, the laughter came to an end, and Squall shook his head, still grinning.  "I can't believe you painted her kitchen." 

"You..."  Seifer raised an eyebrow.  "Excuse me?"

Squall, smirking, pulled open a drawer and extracted a plain, black videocassette tape from it. 

Seifer's eyes went wide in recognition.  "That's... you knew?"  At Squall's amused grin, Seifer growled.  "You knew?!  You, you and Selphie were in cahoots?  What the fuck?"

Squall raised a dark eyebrow.  "‘Cahoots'?"

"Don't change the fucking subject.  What the fuck is going on?"

Squall slammed the drawer shut and took a seat at the table across from Seifer.  Still lightly smirking, he handed the tape to Seifer, who glared at it. 

"I found the tape in the drawer this morning and called Selphie to figure out why it was there.  She asked for permission to do this." 

"She... you gave her permission?"

Squall shrugged.  "Honestly, I wasn't sure you would go through with it."  Seifer's face turned red, and it wasn't from embarrassment.  "She put the tape in the drawer last night." 

"In... the drawer?"

Squall hummed the affirmative.  "If you would make your own coffee on occasion, you would have known." 

Seifer rested his head in his hands.  "...I painted her kitchen." 

"Hn."

"I fixed two sinks." 

"Hn."

"I installed a light bulb." 

"Mm hmm." 

"I had to pay for a new microwave." 

"With your own money, I presume." 

"I put up with her horrid little brats." 

"Do tell." 

Seifer raised his eyes to meet Squall's.  "And the tape was in that drawer the whole fucking time." 

"That it was." 

The two men stared at each other for a good half-minute, before Seifer's mouth twitched.  Ever so slowly the corner of his lips raised, and he started to laugh himself at the complete ridiculousness of the situation.  It was infectious laughter, and he thought it would never end.  Oh, Hyne, the tape was in the fucking drawer.  He was pussy whipped, for sure.  Or, would that be dick whipped?  The thought made him laugh even harder. 

Squall simply stared back at him, a vaguely amused smirk on his face, before rising again to finish putting away the groceries. 

He had only managed to extract a can from a bag before Seifer was behind him, his arms wrapped snugly around the brunette's waist.  He kissed Squall's neck, the brunette doing nothing more than tilting his head to the left to give the blonde better access. 

"Seifer?"

"Hmm?"

"Put that movie back." 

The blonde hummed his amusement.  "You sure?  We could always give the kid to Laguna for a night.  Watch the tape, maybe make another one..." 

Squall scowled.  "Just put the fucking movie back." 

"Hn, as my master commands."  The vague, uneasy feeling he had been experiencing throughout the day came back to him as Squall stepped out of his hold.  "Hey.  Did Selphie, you know, watch it?"

Squall raised a dark eyebrow at Seifer.  "What do you think?"

"...how the Hell am I supposed to know?" Squall shrugged, and Seifer scowled.  "Don't give me that shit." 

Squall smiled knowingly.  "Isn't this enough of a rush for you?  Or maybe you're afraid of somebody finding out about us." 

"Well... wait, you remember that?  I thought you hadn't watched that tape."  Seifer was upset at the thought that his lion had watched the tape without him.  "Tell me that's your memory talking." 

"Whatever."  Squall leaned into Seifer and wrapped his arms around the blonde, who reciprocated the gesture.  "Seifer?"

"Hn?"

"Next time, just do what I tell you." 

"Phft, as if." 

"Prick." 

Seifer grinned widely at the shorter man.  "Maybe so, but I'm your prick." 

Squall smiled vaguely and rested his head against Seifer's chest.  "Hn.  I guess I can live with that."