Hearts Unchanged
December 2003

 

[Seifer]

He was the first and only man whom I feared.  There was my Queen, my Mistress, whom I also feared, but that was from experience upon experience teaching me that she wasn't one to be crossed or denied.  Meanwhile, this dark knight, this Squall Leonhart... I feared him after a single glance into his stony eyes of blue and gray.  And it seemed a ridiculous fear.  My Queen held the great powers of a sorceress and was logically dangerous, but there was nothing about the man which should have made my defenses rise to full alert.  He was so small, not even close to my natural height of over six feet.  Nor did he have the muscles one would expect of a strong warrior, his rather slender body instead moving with the grace of a dancer.

It couldn't have been the first time I had seen him, that day he knelt before my Queen to receive her praise, but I have the habit of not paying attention to the court life which my Mistress enjoys controlling.  She has honored many knights for their accomplishments, but I recognized his name as being the man who has become highly favored as of late.  For that reason I had decided to look him over, and I was unimpressed until I stared into those eyes partly hidden behind the grill of his black helmet.  Only Death himself should have eyes like those.

"My lovely storm of death, you have out done yourself this time.  I'm most pleased with your achievements."

The darkly dressed knight said nothing as he met my Queen's gaze, a feat few people could manage while appearing unbothered by the oddly colored eyes of red and black.

"For that, I wish to gift you with something.  Is there anything you desire?"

Bowing his head slightly, he replied in a quiet but firm voice, "I only desire to serve you, my Queen."

The sorceress laughed in a way that didn't resemble good humor in the least.  "Come now, don't treat me like a fool who can be swayed by such words."

"... ..."

"Hmm, but you support your words of loyalty with actions.  Actions which should be rewarded."  The boney fingers that had been raking through my hair then gripped tightly as she made me straighten from my kneeling position at her side.  "Tell me, my knight, does my pet here please you?"

Those cold eyes shifted, their full force felt with his attention focused solely on me.  "Only if he serves you well."

Again she laughed.  "You are a careful one.  Yes, I dare say that this one pleases me.  And for tonight, he will be whatever you desire."

The man bowed his head.  "You spoil me, my Queen."

I could practically feel the vicious smile that I knew appeared on the sorceress's face, my Mistress always delighted by any words, no matter how meaningless, that praised her false kindness.  That smile was well known to me.  And yet, even I wasn't able to detect the insincerity in the man's soft voice, as if this dark knight truly believed his Queen a generous person.

"Enjoy your night, my lovely storm, and we will speak in the morning."  Those words spoken, the ageless woman signaled for me to stand.  "Take him to your room, pet, and please him as you would me."

I bowed deeply at the command, recognizing the implied order that I would be severely punished if the dark knight was dissatisfied with me.  As I faced the warrior once more, sickening pressure started to build within my stomach.  For the life of me, I could only imagine him being a sadist, which wasn't rare among my Queen's favorites, but this man had a far more experienced hand at pain compared to the rich snobs I was more accustomed to.  I wasn't certain that I would survive the night with my sanity.

Even so, I led the dark knight to my chambers, never showing him my anxiousness as I ran through several scenarios about the coming night.  No matter what would happen, I was determined to not appear weak.  I would never truly beg, never cry, and never show my fear.  It was a pathetic show of strength when I was still being fucked in the end, but it was the only resistance that I was allowed.

I entered the suite first, wasting no time as I approached the large bed in the back room.  After taking a deep breath to steady my voice, I turned sharply to face the silent man.

"And what does your lordship desire of me tonight?"

From behind the grill of the helmet, icy eyes shifted from their examination of the room.  "You tell me."

Holding back mocking words, I took a step closer to him.  "Well, do you desire me?  Or perhaps something more like this..." I said as I focused on my body, changing it into my most hated form.  I always felt weak in that far thinner body, not to mention unbalanced with the ridiculously large breasts.

The blue-gray eyes barely widened in surprise.  "You're a shape shifter."

"Smart boy," I said flippantly in a feminine voice as I stepped closer to him and placed a hand upon his chest.  "Tonight, I am whatever you desire."

After a short pause, he asked, "Is there a bath in these rooms?"

I smirked.  "Certainly, lordship.  Just behind that door."

He nodded, then brushed away my hand.  "Turn to your natural form and lie down on the bed."

Without waiting to see if I would obey his order, the dark knight walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him in the clear sign that I wasn't wanted.  Oddly, I was reluctant to change back into my natural form.  Always I was forced to be something different, whether being a smaller human, holding some odd animal feature, or just something that made me not myself.  To have to do this in my true body...  But I didn't dare deny the dark knight his request, and I soon found myself lying bare of clothes on top of the bed.

He took a fair amount of time in the bathroom, and while it was a reasonable thing for the grungy warrior to need that extra time, I swore that he was doing it to make me suffer.  So when the door did open, I nearly jumped at the sound as I quickly looked over at him.  Instantly, my anxiousness dropped away to surprise.

Though wet, his dark hair was hardly constrained as it framed the unexpectedly young and attractive face.  Blue-gray eyes which appeared deadly behind the grill of his helmet were suddenly awe inspiring as the pale blue seemed to glow in the dim light of the room.  Trading his uniform for a simple robe, the dark knight appeared even smaller than before.  Not that he was a small man, but he didn't match my natural height and body frame.  It was hard to believe that I feared him.

With silent steps, the man approached the bed and paused while glancing over my body.  I couldn't be certain if the shiver which followed through me was from fear or anticipation.

"You'll get cold like that."

I blinked at the words stated with pure serious.  When he then grabbed a pillow and quilt from the bed, I couldn't hold back my curiosity.  "What do you desire of me, lordship?"

"Nothing," he said while dropping the pillow and blanket to the rug covered floor.

Sitting up with renewed fear, I stared at him.  "Nothing?  But I have to please you.  I'm your reward.  If she finds out that I didn't--"

"Can she read your mind?"

I hesitated at the question, knowing that it would be a bad idea to tell him the truth, but something about his eyes told me that he knew the answer anyway.  "No.  She can't."

"Then we have nothing to worry about," he stated while kneeling to the floor.

"Whoa, wait a second.  What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep."

"On the floor?"

"I can't sleep on a bed."  And with that, he wrapped himself tightly in the quilt.

My utter shock towards the situation left me speechless as I watched the dark knight fall directly to sleep.  I was the slave, the man without worth who should be sleeping on the floor like a dog.  While I had the immediate urge to get down to the floor myself, I couldn't bring myself to disobey half the orders I had been given - 'Turn to your natural form and lie down on the bed.'  And so I watched him for a long time, as if I could figure out the man in that way.  But when none of my questions were answered by the sleeping man, I turned my attention to the nearby lamps and blew out the flames.

~ > < ~

There were several such meetings in the year after that first one, each following the same pattern of myself being ordered to the bed where I would sleep alone.  At first, I enjoyed that rare night during which nothing was required of me, but then my self-conscious side took over as I wondered why the man didn't even attempt to sneak a touch.  But what truly confused me were the following mornings when my Mistress would search the man's mind and compliment me on satisfying the dark knight.  It wasn't a minor task to trick a sorceress like that, and it made me reluctantly respect him all the more.

On the sixth night the warrior had been rewarded with my services, I had been ordered to the bed as usual, but I decided to ignore that command.  Instead, I blocked his way to the bathroom, which earned me a confused look instead of an angry glare that anyone else would have directed my way.

"You're injured, lordship."

A faintly amused gleam entered the pale eyes.  "It happens in war."

I frowned, knowing well about what can happen in battle, but that didn't mean the sight of his lame walk and blood soaked clothes were any easier to witness.  "I'll help you wash, and then I'll treat your wounds."

Before he could refuse me, I turned sharply and walked ahead of him into the bathing area.  As I readied several buckets of heated water, the dark knight surprisingly entered without ordering me to the bed.  Instead, he removed ruined clothes and sat on the bench next to the bath.  With the excuse that I didn't want to get water on my own clothes, I stripped completely before approaching him.

It should have been a simple task, one I had done numerous times for my Mistress and others, but I found myself excited to finally touch this man.  I still hadn't a clue why the dark knight caused such a dual sensation of fear and anticipation in me.  Add in the fact that he was also the man who was fooling my Queen for some unknown purpose, I was highly intrigued by him.

While the chance to caress darkly tanned skin wrapped over lean muscle was a worthwhile experience, I was sorely disappointed that he didn't do anything.  No suggestion of more sensual touches, no attempt to grab me, nothing.  Not even an inappropriate moan when I briefly massaged tensed muscles.  And when he stepped into the heated bath without an invitation given for me to join him, I had reached my limit.

"Am I that disgusting to you, lordship?"

Icy eyes stared at me for the sudden question, silently asking for an explanation.

"Is it because I'm not human?  Or because I'm a slave?  Is that why you won't even touch me?"

He hesitated before asking, "Is that what you want?"

"Yes.  No.  I mean..."  I pressed a hand against my face.  "Why do you keep accepting me as a reward when you don't do anything with me?  And why lie to our Queen about it?  Do you want a horrible death or something?  'Cause she will kill you when she finds out that she can't read your mind like the others."

The corner of his lip quirked up into a shadow of a smirk.  "Why haven't you informed her yet?"

"Stop answering my questions with more fucking questions," I growled out, instantly regretting the words.  In a calmer voice, I said, "Forgive me, lordship."

He sighed.  "Enough.  My name is Squall."

I stared at him for a long time, wondering why he bothered to state the obvious until I realized that he was giving me permission to call him by name.  "I couldn't..."

With a shrug of indifference, he closed his eyes and relaxed in the soothing water.

After long moments of silence, I came to the decision to answer his previous question.  "I don't want to tell her.  She would kill you or something worse... And I don't hate you."

He opened his eyes, a somber glow shining in the pale blue.  "You should."

A true smirk forming on my lips, I told him, "I know exactly who I hate in this world, and you aren't on that list."

With a slight frown, the dark knight looked at me, perhaps for the first time truly seeing what I was.  "We will see about that."

~ > < ~

After that meeting, I grew bold around the dark knight... around Squall, that is.  I constantly tested my limits, discovering that there were few rules when it came to the soldier.  Foremost was to never question the man about his life.  General questions about the ongoing war was fine, but nothing more specific was allowed.  Rather, I could ask until my breath ran out, but the questioning would only close him off and ruin the rest of our short time together.

Touching was also a sore issue.  While I was allowed my chance of exploration during his baths, he refused to even sit on the large bed with me.  I wasn't certain what to think of that at first, but eventually I somehow came to the conclusion that Squall simply enjoyed to deny himself any pleasure in life.  Even small desserts were avoided as if poisoned.

With every day that passed, I became increasingly concerned about my growing obsession in connection with the dark knight, but my Mistress didn't notice or else didn't care about my more attentive state whenever the young general and his unit were mentioned.  It was from those sporadic reports that I began to understand the meaning behind the man's words that one night months previous.  I was somewhat surprised to discover that he truly was my Queen's storm of death, a storm who had little discrimination in terms of age, sex and innocence.  With that knowledge, it wasn't difficult to see why my Mistress favored the man, someone who seemed to hold the same heartless nature as herself.  But I refused to let myself be fooled in the same manner.

Though that was a question which plagued me daily - who was the dark knight truly deceiving?  While he showed me kindness, I wasn't completely naive.  I knew there was the possibility of him trying to befriend me, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what benefit it would bring him.  On the other hand, while I hoped he was fooling my Queen, it was ridiculous to taunt a powerful and heartless sorceress in that fashion.  And perhaps, if that was his true nature as well, he would probably find respect in her cruel ways.

And that is the state I was in one day, walking around the castle grounds while those persistent thoughts clouded my mind and senses.  The lack of sleep the two nights previous certainly didn't help my distracted state.  For those reasons, I didn't know better to avoid the back garden of budding roses and cherry trees.

"Well, I'll be...  So, the golden bird is allowed out of its cage on occasion."

I stopped at the voice and faced the nobleman with an indifferent gaze.  But the lanky man wasn't bothered by my cooler expression.  Instead he smiled widely at the apparent joke that I still had resistance left within me.

With obvious disappointment, dark brown eyes examined my body.  "Why do you walk around in that form when you could be a beautiful addition to this garden?"

I resisted a disrespectful growl, but I couldn't help my glare.  "Forgive me, lordship, but I didn't realize that I was yours tonight."

"That matters not," he said, then reached out to grab my chin and forced me to slump forward to give him a sense of greater height over me.  "Change into that whore I had the other month."

Only from past experiences and resulting punishments was I able to hold back my instinct to punch the nobleman.  "I'm not allowed... lordship."

"The Queen won't mind.  In fact, she doesn't even have to know."  Attempting a purring voice, he added, "You know you want this."

I scoffed.  "Like hell I do."

The sharp response earned me a backhand to my cheek, and given my awkward position, I stumbled to the side as if the strike had been stronger than it was.  I straightened unhurriedly while fisting my hands at my sides and biting my tongue to prevent any other form of provocation.

Smirking, the lanky man stepped closer to me, but whatever he was about to say was cut short by a voice behind me.

"Is something the matter here?"

The nobleman's expression quickly changed once he saw the owner of that voice, but I couldn't take pleasure in his sudden horror.  As common with everything the dark knight did to me, I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions of both relief and shame that Squall was there to save me from the nobleman.

"Sir Leonhart," the lanky man greeted him with a nod, but I still heard the fear hidden beneath the false calm.

Finally able to smirk without holding back, I told the nobleman, "As you see, I'm promised to another tonight."

If possible, the man paled further.  "To... the general, is it?"

Squall stepped forward to my side, his eyes the iciest that I have ever seen them.  "You have tried to take our Queen's pet without permission?"

"It was a... misunderstanding."

The dark knight didn't reply to the ridiculous excuse.  Instead, he glared at the nobleman with the clear message that my Mistress would be hearing about the day's event.  And for that brief moment, I pitied the arrogant man.  That is, until his hand went for the jeweled hilt at his side.  Before I could even consider a warning to give the knight, a thick blade of dark metal was suddenly pressed against the skin of the nobleman's neck.

"Care to rethink that?" Squall asked, his hand steady as he held up the heavy sword.

Dark brown eyes were wide as the nobleman slowly removed his hand from the ornamental sword.

"I suggest placing as much distance between you and this castle as you can.  Our Queen won't be pleased with your actions."

"How dare you..." the lanky man began, the feeling of offense giving him some backbone.  "You are just a nothing soldier with no money and no blood.  She can replace you with anyone she desires, but she needs the support of the higher class.  She cannot rule without us."

To my surprise, the dark knight sneered frightfully in reply.  "If she desired it, our Queen could kill off your family and take the money for herself."  With an odd gleam to his eyes, he added, "And I would insist to handle such a task personally."

The nobleman looked about ready to say something in reply, but the sword was raised to his eye level.

"Go."

Dark eyes focused on the edge of the blade, the nobleman finally stepped back slowly with an attempt to maintain his dignity.  Once plenty of distance had been placed between him and Squall, the lanky man turned his back to us and exited the garden area at a rather fast pace.  The brunet at my side waited until that moment before sheathing his sword.

Grinning with amusement, I faced the dark knight.  "Thanks for the show.  It's not often that I get to see those pricks run with their tails tucked between their legs."

Squall didn't acknowledge the words as he gently touched my cheek with gloved fingers.  "A shame you couldn't handle this yourself."

Stunned from being touched by the man, I could only mutter out, "I heal quickly."

"That's not what I meant.  He knew you were helpless to fight back."

I smirked, somewhat relieved to know that Squall knew I wasn't weaker than that fool nobleman.  "Yeah, well, it's not the first time that this has happened.  But forget it.  What do we have planned for tonight?"

He frowned while removing his hand from my face.  "You aren't promised to me tonight."

"What?  But you only visit the castle when you are to be rewarded."

He shook his head.  "I cannot stay overnight.  The northern realms are planning something that must be stopped."

I stared at him, somewhat surprised at my own disheartened state that I wouldn't be spending the night with the dark knight.  I tried to tell myself that I was only hoping for the night of peaceful sleep, but I knew it was more than that.

"Seifer?"

Bitter words unintentionally left my mouth - "If you must be going, then don't waste your time with me, lordship."

Squall frowned, but instead of scolding the offensive words, he commented, "You seem exhausted."

"No sleep in a couple days does that to a normal person.  Now if you don't mind..." I said while attempting to leave, but he blocked my path.

"Why aren't you resting in your chambers?"

I suddenly felt hot anger at the man and I played with the idea to punch him.  Hard.  "I'm not allowed into those chambers without a guest, and I sleep in my Mistress' chambers otherwise.  But of course I can only enter those rooms when she has an eye on me.  So, do you have any other questions to point out how pathetic my life is?"

After a moment of thought, he asked, "Could you sleep on the ground?"

"Oh, sure.  Brilliant idea.  And how about I strip off my clothes and make myself really available to anybody who walks by?"

Without reacting to my sarcastic tone, Squall unbuttoned his uniform jacket and stepped over to an aged cherry tree.  After removing the jacket, he folded the dark material and dropped the makeshift pillow to the grassy ground.  Leaving it there, he then moved to sit down against the trunk of the tree.  The silent invitation was obvious, but I still felt confused.

"I thought you have to leave."

He looked up at me with those incredible blue-gray eyes.  "I have a meeting with our Queen first, and that won't be for some time yet.  I can watch over you until I'm summoned."

"Why bother?"

Squall quietly replied, "I know how it feels to be tired."

I stared at him for several moments, waiting.  I wasn't certain for what exactly.  Maybe for a crack in that mask of his, or maybe for a misspoken word that would prove him to be like every other person I had been promised to, but nothing came.  Shrugging with false indifference, I stepped over to the dropped jacket and laid out along the grass with my back facing the dark knight.  It wasn't for a sign of trust, but simply because I didn't want to give Squall the opportunity to read anything within my expression.

It was beyond surreal to find myself in that situation, lying down with my face half-buried in the man's jacket.  I suppose that I should have been worried to have the so-called 'storm of death' at my back.  But instead, I easily slipped into a rare peaceful sleep, all the while breathing in the smell of leather and metal mixed with the faint scent of blood.

~ > < ~

Sitting on the large bed that I hated with a passion, I waited impatiently for the arrival of the dark knight.  It wasn't fair that I had to be the one to trick Squall, to get him to fulfill my Queen's demands without giving away too many details.  Then again, I didn't know much myself.  Only the one very important detail.

At the sound of a faint click, I straightened in my seated position and looked toward the bedroom door.  Eventually the darkly dressed man appeared, his helmet still on and hiding his face from view.  Even so, I could feel his icy eyes clearly, the piercing stare always wanting something from me, something I couldn't identify.

"You've spoken with my Mistress," I said, my voice surprisingly rough from frustrated emotions.

He shook his head.  "She summoned me to the castle, but her personal guards directed me to these chambers.  What is this about?"

Resisting the urge to laugh in disbelief about the situation, I looked away sharply from the man.  "You are to stay here until a meeting with my Mistress in two nights.  We're to have sex until that time," I stated numbly.

"That isn't necessary."

"It's completely necessary.  I don't know how you've managed to trick her to this point, but this time she'll use physical methods to see how active we've been over the next two days."  Smirking weakly, I added, "There's no way around it.  You'll just have to fuck me as much as you can stand."

While unseen, Squall's disapproving glare was easily felt.  But he said nothing in response before he headed directly for the bathroom and closed the door tightly behind him.  I wanted to laugh out loud that he was so disgusted by the idea of having sex with me that he had to immediately cleanse himself.  But instead I surrendered myself to the hopelessness of the situation and removed my clothing before lying down at the head of the bed.

In time the bathroom door opened and Squall exited with a robe covering his lean body.  Vaguely smirking, I decided that it was at least a minor comfort that the man was very attractive...  No, by that point I was sadly falling in love with the dark knight.  It was a ridiculous love, one I knew was solely based on his odd form of kindness towards me, but logic never was one of my strong points.

Squall sat at the edge of the bed while his eyes remained focused on the fireplace.  He didn't say anything, though.  He only sat there with a conflicted gleam to his eyes.

"I can be whatever you want, you know."

Still not facing me, he asked, "Can you stay as you are?"

The simple question shouldn't have made me as happy as it did.  "Well, isn't that a part of 'whatever you want'?  Idiot."

A vague smile formed before he finally looked at me.  "You've grown bold."

I thought about responding, but I was struck dumb by the slight smile I had never witnessed before.  Unfortunately it vanished quickly as if he had suddenly remembered it wasn't proper for the situation.

"I have never done this," he said.

Somewhat confused, I asked, "You haven't done what, exactly?  Fucked a nonhuman?"

"Try no one."

At first the admission stated without shame surprised me greatly, but then I remembered the man's apparent avoidance of anything that could bring a touch of pleasure to his life.  How could a man purposefully chose to live his life like that?  Some people just shouldn't be allowed their freedom if they were only going to waste it.

Sitting up straight, I was struck once again by how small the feared general appeared this close and without his uniform.  And yet for that moment, I wasn't afraid of him.  Leaning in close to the brunet, I placed my hand at the belt of his robe before I lightly kissed his neck.  Squall shivered at the touch, but he didn't pull away.  The robe was easily opened to bare his lightly tanned skin covered with white scars of various sizes and shapes.  It wasn't the first time I had touched the cool skin, but I still couldn't get enough of feeling the toned body.  It was so different compared to the aristocrats I was accustomed to.

"Could we pretend?" I unintentionally asked out loud.

Squall stiffened at the question.  "Pretend?"

"That we didn't have to do this, but we want to.  That we're..."  I scoffed at my stupidity.  "Never mind.  Let's just do this."

A cool hand grabbed onto mine.  "How would we pretend?"

I became lost in his eyes, an unexpected innocence highlighting the pale blue.  Feeling entranced, I leaned forward to whisper, "Like this," before I pressed my lips against his.  As I softly kneaded our lips together, I was struck by the idea that this was probably the first kiss for the both of us.  I've only had mockery of kisses that left me sick in the stomach, and certainly nothing like this.  Nothing this sweet and somehow bitter at the same moment.

As I continued to kiss him, I moved my hand lower along his body despite his hand still gripping onto mine.  Reaching his penis, I stroked a single finger along the hardening shaft.  Squall gasped at the move, helping me to slightly deepen our kiss.  It was intoxicating like that, to only tease him in a way that I knew others wouldn't dare touch the general.  It was also something that others I have pleasured would never allow me.  I was so lost in that sense of power that I didn't notice the movement of his hand which caressed my beginning arousal, the surprise of his touch making me jerk back away from him.

Stormy eyes hardened at the action.  "You are afraid of me."

I shook my head and gave myself a moment to regain lost breath.  "No.  I'm just not used to people being exactly... gentle with that area."

His gaze softened again before he stood up from the mattress.  With a teasing slowness, Squall removed his robe and dropped it to the floor.  His eyes guarded, he sat closer to me than before and rested his hand on my thigh.  I didn't react to the touch, and instead I found myself smiling at the hesitant nature of the dark knight.  When his calloused fingers began to run along my penis, I sighed at the amazing feel.  But the light touch wasn't enough for my desires.  Once again leaning close to him, I grabbed onto his arousal without reserve.  Squall's eyes fluttered at the bold move, and after a few deep breaths, he caught onto my suggestion and repeated the action by fisting his hand around my penis.  It was a mimic game after that, myself holding the lead through the strokes and kisses.

Eventually while thumbing the redden head of his erection, I felt the dribble of precum coating my skin.  At that warning, I pulled away from a particularly deep kiss, earning a confused, cross-eyed look from Squall.  Reluctantly I removed my hand from him, that making the brunet add a slight frown to his expression.

"We should move on with this," I said, partly reminding myself about the true purpose of sex with this man.

He nodded, moving back to give me room.

Looking into the trusting blue-gray eyes, I suddenly felt ashamed of what I was about to do.  I quickly rolled over onto my stomach with my knees folded beneath me and my face mostly buried in a soft pillow.  When Squall didn't move at the clear offer, I sighed and lifted my ass higher.

"It's just a hole, Squall.  Nothing complicated."

"I'll hurt you."

I closed my eyes at the statement, trying hard to not think about how I could be the one who would hurt him.  "It doesn't matter, but if it bothers you that much, there's oil in the drawer of the night stand."

After the sound of the opening drawer, there was a long pause during which I remembered what else should be in that drawer.  I wondered if the dark knight was even able to identify half of the objects in there and their uses.  But he recovered in time and grabbed the vial of fragranced oil.  As he prepared himself, I closed my eyes and readied my body for the coming invasion.

Chilled hands slipped around my waist, just before the tip of his oiled erection brushed against my opening.  Slowly and carefully Squall pressed forward, not stopping until he was almost completely sheathed within me.  Resting there, he leaned forward to press his forehead against my back where his shaky breaths caressed along my skin.  I was amazed to find myself matching those rushed breaths as I rocked back against him.

"Seifer...  shit."

I shivered at the sound of my name whispered harshly in pleasure.  It was so rare to hear my name in common circumstances, but I never dared to imagine hearing it in this type of situation... even if we were only pretending to be lovers instead of pawns following our Queen's commands.

As he began to thrust within me, I tried to open my body to him, but it seemed an impossible task with him distracting me with unexpected pleasure.  Then he had the audacity to increase that pleasure by taking a hold of my erection and massage it in time with his deepening thrusts.  I bit into the pillow, trying to prevent the need to scream out, but something came out of me instead - a deep rumbling sound that I couldn't prevent.

Squall slowed to a stop and spoke in a concerned voice.  "Seifer... am I hurting you?"

"No... Gods, no..." was the best response I could offer him, my idiotic purring making me tongue-tied.

Hesitantly he leaned forward and lightly pressed a trail of kisses along my spine before he restarted a slow and measured pace with his thrusts.  I couldn't think anymore, couldn't even move as I surrendered completely to the dark knight.  And then felt my insides splitting and turning, the sensation painful and yet more pleasurable than words could describe.

After the warning of a nearly unheard cry, I felt his expansion and sharp release, and I swore that I could feel his heated seed go deep within me.  While I trailed that warm sensation, I was surprised by the sudden closure of my body, as if a door had been slammed shut in my face.  I knew my body completely, as is necessary for those of my kind, and yet it felt like something had been numbed or stolen from me in that brief moment.  Confused and somewhat frightened, I shivered at that sensation.

Once recovered, Squall slowly pulled out from me and sluggishly moved to the edge of the bed.  I quickly grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him down onto the mattress, but he was immovable.  Tiredly I looked up at him, and once I meet with exhausted and bright blue-gray eyes, I found myself purring again.

Eyes narrowed in thought, Squall asked, "What is that?"

"Can't help it," I muttered before rolling over onto my back, but the brunet still didn't budge when I pulled on his arm.  With a somewhat hopeful note, I asked, "Aren't we still pretending?"

He relaxed at the question and nodded before moving to lie down at my side.

After a time of silence, I said, "I purr, all right?  I purr like a stupid cat whenever something feels good.  I remember as a kid, my mother would purposefully rub my stomach just to make me purr for hours on end."  In a quiet murmur, I added, "I haven't purred since then."

"What happened to your mother?"

"She was killed along with the other adults of my clan.  Only the children were spared to be pets, but most of them have died over the years.  I'm just too stubborn for my own good," I said with a sneer.

Squall didn't speak immediately after that, and when he did, it was in an incredibly quiet voice.  "This will end."

I sat up sharply at the words and stared at the prone man.  "Then you are planning something against my Mistress.  You are fooling her for some purpose, but... but... you can't.  She's too powerful.  She'll kill you before you blink the wrong way."  Horror slowly overcame me as I realized something.  "What do you want from me?  Why are so kind to me?  You know I can't do anything, I won't do anything against her.  She'd kill you, but I wouldn't be as lucky."

Eyes of stone and ice looked up at me with an irritating calmness.  "You have no role in this."

I continued to stare at him, suddenly offended that he never wanted to use me after all, but I quickly realized the ridiculousness of that thought.  While I ran my fingers through damp hair, I tried to figure out why I was always so fickle around the dark knight.  It was as if I was determined to find a reason to hate him.

"Get some sleep, Seifer.  We have plenty of time to talk later."

And then I noticed his exhausted state, most likely not from the sex previous.  No, he seemed the type to travel hard and fast, sleep becoming more of an option than a necessity.  He didn't even wait to see if I would follow his order and lie down.  Instead he closed his eyes and prepared for sleep which always came so quickly for him.  As per habit of mine by that point, I watched over him as his body relaxed and his breaths evened out.  For a long time I sat there unmoving with my eyes focused on the lean form and my hand resting lightly over my stomach.

With a quiet whisper, I told the sleeping man, "Please end this soon."

~ > < ~

Sometime after the call of midnight on the second night of his stay, Squall and I were summoned to the special meeting room of my Mistress.  It was a room I disliked to spend anytime in given the strong wards lining the walls.  Even people without any magical abilities could sense the threatening power within that room.

Upon entering, I paused at the sight of an abnormal addition to the room - a small guillotine which sat at the edge of the large table centered in the room.  My Mistress stood next to the device and fingered the dark wood as if to make certain we noticed its presence.

Seemingly unbothered by the woman's wicked smile, Squall dropped to his knee and bowed his head.

"My lovely storm.  Have you enjoyed your rest?"

"Yes, my Queen."

She chuckled in a knowing fashion, and then the odd eyes of red and black were turned to me.  "Come, my pet.  I don't wish to waste anymore time than necessary."

I forced myself to not hesitate at the kind voice which was obviously fake, and I stepped directly to my Queen's side.

"Place your arm here," she ordered, waving to the base of the guillotine.

Even if I thought I could resist the command, I didn't feel afraid of the threat it presented.  I slid my hand into the wooden cuff beneath the blade and rested my arm on the wooden plank.  Smiling, my Mistress tightly buckled the straps around my arm such that it was secured flat against the plank.

"Now, my precious pet," the sorceress started while stroking the hair at my neck with her lengthy nails.  "Did you succeed in what I've asked of you?"

Reluctantly, I nodded.

She smiled viciously in reply.  "And do you really think that I would trust your word?"

As she stroked her finger along dark wood, I suddenly remembered a 'small' detail about what my condition would imply.  I stared at my arm and willed it to change, but my body was unresponsive to the silent commands.  I continued to mentally yell at my arm, and when I became truly desperate, I tried to pull my arm free, but it was useless.

With wide eyes I watched as my Mistress' smile broadened before her hand slid down to a lever.  I didn't lower myself to begging, but I couldn't stop the reflex to close my eyes as if it would keep away any pain.  I heard the release of the blade followed by its fast journey down the wooden tracks, and then the final clang of its sudden halt.  I winced at the last sound, expecting pain to overwhelm me at any moment, but I felt nothing.  I cracked an eye open to look at the damage to my body, but I then open my eyes wide when I saw a small knife embedded into the dark wood as it held the slanted blade barely a finger's width away from my wrist.

"What have you done?" the sorceress hissed, instantly drawing my attention to her and the dark knight.

His head bowed, Squall said, "Forgive me, my Queen, but I saw no reason for your body and gown to be soiled by this creature's blood."

The eyes of red and black narrowed suspiciously at the knight, but eventually her obvious anger faded away.  "Since you were only thinking of myself, I can forgive you this minor offense.  But remember, my storm, you obey my direct orders.  Do not assume them."  Facing me, she smiled.  "In any case, the truth of his words have been verified, which means that I can move on with the primary reason that I have summoned you here."

Her dress rustling with her movements, my Mistress approached the kneeling man while she removed something from a hidden pocket.  A wooden box about the size of her hand was revealed as she stopped directly in front of him.

"Rise, my knight."

Squall obeyed with his natural grace and gazed directly into the sorceress' abnormal eyes.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked upon opening the box.

The dark knight glanced at the large orb of a white marble-like material, and then shook his head.  "It appears only a shaped stone to me, my Queen."

"A-ah, but it's more than that, my lovely storm."  She handed the orb to Squall while she kept the box for herself.  "However, at this time all you need to know is that this 'stone' will rid me of that damned northern witch forever.  But being a cautious woman, I won't give you the secrets of that orb until you have infiltrated Edea's castle."

A vague frown marred the man's expression.  "That won't be a simple task, my Queen."

The sorceress smiled darkly before returning to my side.  "That is why I have decided to enlist you for this mission, my storm of death.  If anyone can make it past that witch's defenses, it would be you."  Staring directly into my eyes, she ran her nails through my hair.  "And if you happen to die, your heir shall take your place as my favored general."

Squall's frown deepened at the comment.  "I have no heir, my Queen."

"A-ah, then my pet still respects my orders when it comes to you.  That is... good to know."  Turning to face him, she smiled and said, "Congratulations, young general.  You will be father within the year."

Confusion was clear in the icy eyes until Squall met my gaze.  The stormy eyes widened in understanding, and then that surprise was soon lost under his typical neutral mask as he bowed.  "Thank you, my Queen."

Though she returned her eyes to stare at me, the sorceress continued to speak with the knight.  "You have been loyal to me, and as you know, I always reward loyalty.  In time your heir will also prove the honor of your bloodline.  But that won't be for years to come, unfortunately."

As I stared helplessly into the eyes of red and black, I tried to not let her see my hate and anger at her words, all of them stated as if I had no worth to the coming child.  But even that anger couldn't compare to my frustration to learn that my child was expected to live the life of a slave.  I would rather death than allow my child to suffer at someone else's hand.

My Mistress hummed out her amusement.  "Is there something you wish to add, my pet?"  When I didn't take the bait, she smiled in a sympathetic fashion.  "My poor child, I thought I rid you of that bothersome backbone.  It must hurt you to hold onto such hope.  But don't fear, my pet.  We will remedy this soon."

I glared at her, just barely holding back the shivers which wanted to rack my body.  She wasn't being figurative in her statement that she had once removed my backbone, her magic keeping me alive until I finally regrew the necessary body part.  It was her favorite joke and my most hated nightmare.

Abruptly my Mistress gasped and held a hand to her throat as if she were choking.  Eyes narrowed, she spun around to face the dark knight.  I followed her gaze and stared stunned at the sight of Squall holding the white orb sandwiched between his two hands, both he and the orb glowing a soft white as he mouthed unheard words.

"How...?"  Coughing for air, the sorceress glared heatedly at the dark knight and hissed out, "Traitor," before she flung a spell at the seemingly vulnerable man.

With a loud crack and flash of light, the curse broke apart around Squall, leaving him entirely unscathed.  Despite the distractions, he only open his eyes while he continued to speak the soundless words.  His expression revealed nothing, but I swore that I saw a taunting gleam within the pale blue eyes.

After a few more failed attacks with magic, the sorceress turned sharply with her desperate gaze focused on me.  Still bound to the small guillotine, I couldn't escape as she approached with hurried steps.  Her bony hand was instantly at my throat, her long nails digging into my flesh.

"I will... kill... him," she warned to the knight between harsh, needy breaths.

Squall obviously wasn't bothered by the threat, his lips forming a deadly smirk as he held out the now hovering orb in one hand.  He whispered a single word in a sharp order, and the orb reacted immediately as a white, ghost-like hand reached out to my Mistress.  I was quickly forgotten as she attempted to flee, but the translucent hand was frightfully fast as it plunged into the woman.  There was little struggle after that, the red and black eyes of the sorceress turning to an ordinary set of dark brown eyes before she went completely limp and fell to the floor.  The ghost-like hand retreated from the body with a mist of dark gray held tightly in its grasp as it returned to the stone orb.  Instantly the white light vanished from around Squall, the man sighing in exhaustion as his hand dropped to his side.

I was afraid to speak at that moment, as if I could shatter the current reality with something as simple as mere words.  So I continued to stand in place and silently watch the dark knight while he carefully placed the orb in a pouch hanging from his belt.

Purposefully not meeting my eyes, Squall pulled a dagger from a hidden sheath at his back and strode up to the fallen body.  Lifting the woman slightly by her dark hair, he causally slit the exposed throat and carelessly dropped the heavily bleeding body back to the floor.  Standing straight, he stared down at the redden dagger in his hand.

"Where can you go from here?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I jumped at the sound of his voice, but then quickly regained some calm.  "Is she truly dead?"

He nodded, but kept his head bowed.

"I... I'm free...?"  And then the meaning of his question made better sense.  "I told you, Squall.  My clan was wiped out, and the others are always in hiding.  But living on the streets will be better than my life to this point.  I can survive."

"... Is it truly possible for you to be pregnant?"

His voice suddenly sounded pained to me and I instinctively reached out to him, but my bound state quickly prevented that.  "Squall.  I didn't want to, but my Mistress...  and I didn't mind if it was you.  This whole hand thing was to show that I can't transform, which means that I am pregnant...  Fuck, it wasn't supposed to be like this," I growled out.

"No.  It wasn't."  The bloodied dagger then fell from his loosened grip and he finally looked up to meet my gaze.  "I will take you some place safe."

"You don't--"

Squall quieted my argument with a simple icy glare before he approached me to release my arm from its leather bindings.  Briefly he rubbed the reddened flesh with his thumb, but then turned sharply to exit the warded room.

"I need to retrieve my sword, and then we leave.  I hope you can ride a horse."

And before I had the opportunity to answer, he left the room at a brisk pace.  Trusting that my longer stride would help me to catch up to him, I held back to give myself a moment to look down at the defeated sorceress.  Staring at the once feared woman, I wondered briefly if I would be any better off with the person who could kill an aged sorceress.  But looking back at the small knife still embedded in the wood of the guillotine, all my doubts vanished with a smirk as I silently promised Squall that I would thoroughly thank him once we reached his supposed safe house.  After a final glance at the fallen sorceress and the dropped dagger, I hurried after the fleeing knight and towards my new freedom.

 

{Continued}

 

Author's Whining -- And thus I start another request.  Whoo!  I hope this is something you can enjoy, Venusia.  I'm not certain what you may have been expecting, but at least I promise for a happier ending than the last Seifer mpreg.  And that's a promise to everyone who has emailed me about that particular fact.  It's cute how you were all so worried about what I was planning to do to poor SxS this time around.

As per usual, things within this chapter shall be explained in painful detail in the following chapters (I'm guessing three chapters total for this fic).  Many more people of the FF8 cast are coming, and more background will be outlined.  Until next chapter...